ALL THE SOUR MUDDIED CRIMES / WON'T FORGIVE YOUR SHATTERED MIND

⑳＋④→ you could probably love me if i was dead / but i'd rather feed you dreams instead

2008-07-28T06:14:36Z

So, uh, yeah. Everything's fine. Uh. Yeah. You know, not even fine, it's good. It's great, it's fanfuckingtastic and you know what, I don't even know who I'm kidding, but I definitely know that it is going to be a long time before you and I go drinking again.

(Not for your sake. For mine.)

At the risk of sounding like a housewife, I really can't wait for him to get home. ~~Because goddammit if I fuck even one more thing up I'm going to have a fucking breakdown, I sear to God I will.~~ And besides all that shit, I'm sick of scaring my own gang into apparent silence. If everyone's dead, somebody better send me a slip from the goddamn morgue.

⑳＋③→ if we all join hands and make amends / will you still tell me when march begins?

2008-07-23T18:13:18Z

I could write a whole bunch of shit about how I've been cooped inside of my own volition for almost four weeks, but that's not honestly what I want to talk about. I finally called someone to get the air conditioning fixed. I watched television, watched shows I recorded a while ago wanting to see what was going on - I'm up to date on all my dramas. I've done my own laundry. Kiba sent me a bird cage for the Girls, and I don't like using it, but it's nice for them to have a place to sleep. I had the carpet's cleaned. I've been eating well, and I've stopped drinking soda just because I really like the taste of water better. I haven't been doing drugs or smoking or getting into trouble, and I've been trying not to worry about anything or anybody. I haven't gone out or done anything or recked anybody's life, and things are just sort of rolling along like they always do.

I feel like a fixated ghost. (The depression's gone, I guess, and I'm not lonely.) Everything just sort of goes around in circles, like normal, and I don't do too much, except take care of myself like I'm supposed to, and that's good, isn't it? I wake up and go to bed early and on a predictable schedule, I report in to my superiors on a timely and regular basis, I always get dressed when I wake up. It's not as if I laze around and get fat all day. I've been trying to get better at cooking - that's not to say it's working, but I guess that so long as I can eat what I make only for myself, that's good enough. It doesn't give me indigestion or anything. I'm healthy and well-behaved.

But if I had ever wanted a normal life like this, I would've just killed myself when I was 13, instead of running away.

If I had wanted a normal life, I would've been born into one.

And I wasn't.

So stop leaving me alone.

I'm not made of glass, you know.

Happy birthday, Sasuke.

May you achieve what you are meant to, and know that in the end, we probably still love you with all our hearts, she and I. In the end, even if I am ultimately the cause of your death, and of your unhappiness,

I will have loved you with all of myself.

And that's all that really matters, either way.

I'm not sending you a gift.

I don't really care if you didn't want one.

Don't go wasting this year like you wasted the last.

⑳＋②→a circle joined without your hands / a prank that's played on wedding bands

2008-06-20T18:43:42Z

So, other than the fact that life sucks and my air conditioner isn't just magically coming back on ~~goddammit~~ everything's pretty much fine. I'm working on learning how to spontaneously combust, mostly because I'm sure it's easier than dousing yourself in lighter fluid in a crowded room and waiting for somebody to make a mistake with a candle; I'm trying to learn to Apparate, too, like those crazy British sons of bitches, not because learning to do so would be that useful, but just because popping in and out of existence would be pretty wicked cool.

Being depressed fucking sucks.

PRIVATE;

I'm counting down the days.

Goddammit fucking all.

/PRIVATE.

⑳＋①→so many things i never say / could speak to you in every way

2008-05-27T04:43:12Z

Dear World,

Let's have hate sex.

Quick, before the hate wears off.

Love,
うずまきナルト

To sum things up, life sucks and everyone hates me. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Everyone in my own gang hates me. Oh, and Sasuke's. But other than that, I'm beloved the motherfucking world over. Can't even touch this. Thank God there's symbolic animals that always come back through the window to try and keep me company. Who the fuck says you can't buy love? Birdseed's barely 600円, you idiot, and that's all it takes.

~~And here I thought you were good at figuring out symbolism, Hyuuga.~~

If I didn't tell anyone (most of you know already because I'm just that motherfucking popular) my air conditioning is broken and it's hot. Being the highest form of life that there could ever be does not, apparently, make me immune to heat stroke. If I really faint, I'm going to seriously start questioning my gender.

⑳→Ant goes marching one by one hurrah, hurrah / the Ant will run His fingers down your spine and bra

2008-05-18T20:53:09Z

I don't know if this counts as a plan of action so much as it counts as acting without a plan. Or maybe it counts as hiding in plain sight? The hell I would know. The witness protection program is supposed to be working against me, right?

⑱→london bridge, quick! burning down / london bridge, slick! unholy crown

2008-05-15T00:35:06Z

So, apart from the fact that I got the numbers back from a certain somewhere, and a certain someone hasn't been filling their quota (you know who you are), everything for April matches up. I think Baa-chan's going to have me working off those snakes for a lifetime, but I guess two months isn't really enough to measure how mad she is ~~was~~ ~~...is?~~ may or may not ~~still~~ be. ~~But fuck, it was worth it.~~ Sakura, you should come over and make sure I haven't done any of this math wrong ~~among other things~~. I got something from a friend overseas that I'm dying to try out. We can trade off.

In other news, I'm pretty seriously worried about Tenten. Anybody seen or heard anything out of her in the past few weeks? I mean, if she was just avoiding me that'd be fine because I mean, hell, I can fix that but it sounds like she's been avoiding everyone. I'm cool with you antisocialites, don't get me wrong, but I just don't expect it from Ten-chan, you know? ~~Should I be more worried than I have been? Like "contact the authorities" type worried?~~ There's a whole squadron of you people who've been out of my sight for some time now, too. Yeah, here's lookin' at you, Shika. (Lee, I know you're busy, I won't bitch because we're really not all too bad off at the moment.)

I better not find out you three have been skulking around doing shit, though. 'Specially if it's in our name and I haven't heard about it yet. You clear this shit, you guys. No private excavations. Ecchi and Baa-chan have been on my ass about that for reasons I'm not yet licensed to talk about.

By which I mean: Neji, I may or may not need to talk to you. We could avoid aforementioned conversation altogether if you were to beat me to the punch and know what it was about. I'd really rather never, ever have the conversation that my instincts tell me we should probably have, just because I really don't want to interfere with anything you do to that extent. I really don't. So beat me to the goddamn punch and put me out of my misery, won't you? And, uh, if you can, avoid talking to your uncle until I say otherwise. It should only be a few days, tops, but I really need you to either not talk to him or talk to him as little as humanly possible ~~if that differs from your regular itenerary at all~~.

I'd say it was nothing personal if I were even going to go into that.

I'm not.

Gaara, I need to talk to you, too, for a completely different reason that I'm not at ends to discuss in a public forum, either. ~~They always get me in shit like this, I swear.~~ Nothing bad I don't think but necessary enough. (I need to ask you a favor. ~~...and your always welcome in my house, too, you know.~~)

⑰→don't be the rodeo clown in my jeans / i'll be the cowbird that cuts you clean

2008-04-26T06:01:29Z

Seven guesses at what I'm holding behind my back. ♥

⑯→ the parking breaks on / the walrus said / that's okay / said the man / we're almost dead

2008-04-19T05:48:02Z

You're going to die in seven hours - inevitably and in a way you cannot possibly change or otherwise prevent - and have simultaneously realized that you are - irreversibly - the largest dillhole to ever roam the earth and that the majority of your friends hate you, and will actively (and without qualm) partake and participate in your death. What are your feelings on this? How do you react? Discuss.

⑭→focus pocus get 'er laid / room in france for the new true maid

2008-04-02T23:27:43Z

So things are either slowly getting better or quickly getting worse, and I'm optimistic enough to hope it might be the former, but paranoid enough to be sure it's the latter. It's a weird bunching sensation. I don't know. I feel like I'm hanging from a bungee cord, which is fine and all, but I'm not exactly sure how I got here, so it's kind of bothering me. ~~When did I turn into a therapist, and why didn't I notice or demand a credential when it happened? And if I'm the patient and nobody's telling me, I'll fuck up somebody's shit. Swear to God.~~

Maybe I'm just waiting for everything to blow up.

Is that bad?

⑬→i killed the witch doctor said that it was you / i killed him cause he told me you were never true

2008-03-28T05:16:55Z

Doesn't my awesome just make you want to wet yourself?

Don't.

I'm just clarifying. ♥

Poker Night's tomorrow, as of now. ~~Before you escape, Neji. ♥ You've gotta get a taste of Poker Night. You'll be happy you did.~~ Lee, you and me can go shopping beforehand; I think I know exactly where we can go to get those oranges. ♥ Tenten, I assume you'll be helping us cook? I know the kitchen's small, but it's always fun to all be in there together.

I know what I'll be betting, you two.

I can't wait to hear what you will be. ♥

⑫→if i preoccupy myself with you / will you still be angry if we're not through?

2008-03-25T04:16:10Z

OH WHOEVER COULD THAT BE. ~~Favorite person, baby. Never forget it.~~ Ten-chan, I stole Bi-chan back so that I could download off her what you'd gotten so far. I think we have enough for a mini-documentary, honestly. Nothing spectacular, but more than enough to dazzle the audience of virtually any video-upload site on the internet. (You're my girl, you know you are. ~~And I'm not sending anybody. Because you asked me not to and I trust you. Don't do anything...well. Yeah. I won't do my mother-hen piece.~~ Either way, I sort of forgot why I bought Bi-chan in the first place.

And the picture above? Oh did it help me remember. ♥

DAY 1: Twice. This isn't looking good.

⑪→tell the man with the music he needs to stop / said the calvin klein to the boy's sweatshop

2008-03-23T23:31:00Z

Abuse, allow me to show you it.

So I got home...late (can you call it that?) and realized (a little too far into the game) that my sleeping patterns are all fucked up, and so I decided I should probably stay up so that I can sleep tonight. So I took the paint we had left over, and painted myself with it, and just kind of rolled all over my living room. Then I took a shower and let it dry, and now my living room looks like I was sawing people open in it. It's possibly the funniest motherfucking thing I've ever seen in my life.

I've been checking my hair out in whatever reflective surfaces I run into today, because I kind of just dumped it on my head and then slathered what didn't hit all over my chest and stuff, so it had the most time to dry in my hair and I couldn't get all of it out. It's not really red, anymore. It's not even really...well, alright, it's kind of pink-ish? But it'll grow out by the end of the week. I'm telling you, sometimes this "hair grows at the motherfuckin' speed of light" is pretty cool shit.

Not sure what I'm going to do about the living room. Not exactly sure what I was thinking. But hell, crazy's the new stupid, and panicked is the new calm, so all in all I'm feeling pretty zen. I don't know how much that counts for.

...it should come out. It's water based.

God, I'm a fuckin' riot.

Gaara;

I put a tarp down. What I'm worried about is some that I got on the wall near the TV, and hey, I can repaint or something. You're supposed to repaint before you move, right? Not that I'm planning on doing that anytime soon. I'm just saying.

And, by the way, you're pretty much my favorite person right now. Just to keep you updated. ♥

Sakura;

Help.

(I would say more but it kind of feels like I'm asphyxiating.)

Neji;

I don't like controlling people. It's not my game. I really don't care about whoever you feel like fraternizing with, because honestly? I think it's amazing that you're fraternizing at all. That's behavior I want to encourage. And so I can't discourage you from doing it. I also can't mend your and Hinata's relationship. I'd try if I thought that it would help, but I know that it won't. I think I've been pretty well-behaved, not dipping my hands in and meddling there, despite what I want. Don't you think I've been pretty well-behaved, in regards to that?

So do me a favor, and pull something together that I can be comfortable with. You guys can do whatever, so long as you don't get yourself into trouble, and so long as he isn't using it as an opportunity to take cheap shots at your cousin, who, I would remind you, is a part of my gumi.

And, on a less business-esque tangent, it makes me happy that you finally found someone you can atleast talk to; you guys have...quite a lot in common. Makes me smile.

...don't tell.

If I could pin down, like, one emotion to feel instead of about twenty-million, that'd be nice too. I don't know. Weird times dattebayo. Weird times.

⑩→envy envy the monster said / like smiling dice inside your head

2008-03-22T12:00:19Z

We amaze me.

We motherfucking amaze me. Sleep. You, me, now, until four in the afternoon.

And then we can think about all those repercussions or what not.

God we amaze me.

⑧→double double kumquat / double double serve / trouble touble cumslut / don't lose your nerve

2008-03-21T22:31:50Z

So, I fell asleep on the train in and I don't know why, but I was just sitting down, leaning my head on my hand and somehow my eyes closed when I wasn't paying attention and I fell asleep, and I had this dream I can't remember, and when I woke up, I had that kind of shock moment, where I realized I'd slept through my stop, and it kind of felt like I was gunna throw up my stomach for seventeen seconds, and then I got all distracted because my cheek itched, and I reached up to scratch it, and all across my hand is, like, the imprint of my hair, which is all bent and shit at this point, so that one half is curled around the right part of my face and the other half is still trying to climb off my head and into the air. And it was just weird. I felt like I was on something but I wasn't. I just kind of sat there, sorta hypnotized by the lines on my hand until the headache kicked in and I remembered that my cheek was itching, and then I just sat there and wondered what the shit I was doing on the train anyway. (I mean, I knew and everything, but I kind of just...it was that total "God, how long was I asleep" type moment.) I don't know.

Weird shit.

~~I just feel nervous. I don't know.~~

[ E D I T ; ]

Oh, and I think Neji hates me.

OH WOE MY POOR BLOND SOUL.

~~I'll win you back, baby.~~

⑦→forgive and forget / make me a bet / that you won't get home / before moonset

2008-03-14T01:10:11Z

View Poll: Ready for me?

⑤→wham! bam! thankyou ma'am! / all i have for what i am

2008-03-09T07:30:47Z

NEWSFLASH

Nara has just been assigned to work out every morning with you Lee, and you Neji. Enjoy his company. (I'm sure you will. He bitches nearly as much as you do, Hyuuga, only without the wonderful facial expressions to go with.)

Gaara, call your sister before you call me or I've given myself permission to proverbially kick the crap out of you, and you probably know the proverbial way I mean. ♥ (You want to know why, I'll talk to you about it later. I need to know where you've been, I haven't seen you around lately, and it worries me.)

Additionally, due to the somewhat tenuous nature of putting my genitals in harm's way, I'm not going to say too much about the status of Ten-chan's party, except to say that if you treat it like death it will probably be just as unavoidable.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

④→bomber bomber first class / has a wife who's made of glass

2008-03-08T03:11:40Z

And, on top of helping me to embrace that whole "LOL CANNOT SPELL" thing, that just made me feel a whole lot better. NEWSFLASH I FEEL AWESOME NOW. I don't know. Life's alright. It is. I had that one dream for the first time in a few months which pissed me off, but I read something and now I'm pretty sure I have a plan of action now which is FUCKIN' NEW AND EXCITING 'fyou don't mind my saying so, and if you do, you can go fuck yourself on a pole, see how much I care.

Oh, and by the way Neji, not on drugs.

Love you, thanks. ♥

『花』→

2008-03-04T18:02:52Z

Bend and kiss and bend and shake
like bending-kiss was wedding cake
was under gaze on under you
that Wonder Girl was watching too.

Name: Uzumaki Naruto
Age: Nineteen.
Portrayed By: Ruki of The GazettE.
Gang: Konohagumi.
Tattoo: Stomach; a spiraling Konohagumi leaf with ink shrapnel spreading out from it. It somewhat resembles a sun. (The whole thing is actually made up of the text from a Japanese fairytale titled "The Grateful Foxes".)
History:It really all started with an attempted kidnapping. That’s how it really all started. Sure, Naruto was already in the gang then, but it all really started when he was opening the door and two men in suits were standing there, guns underneath their clothing and hair parted strangely. It really all started with the reflection of two strangers in the pools of ocean water that Naruto calls eyes. It all started with his name.

”Hello there, Naruto-kun.”

Naruto was born to unknown parents in an unknown Tokyo district at an unknown hour of the morning. He was an abandonment case within hours of taking his first breath; he was a crier and a loud one, which is one of the reasons the social service employees got there so fast to remove him from the arms of a befuddled-looking nurse who had been saddled with him ever since his mother, an unidentified redhead, had disappeared after bringing him in. From that moment onward he was a troublemaking product of the system, always causing a ruckus, always getting into fights, and always always making noise. He was so violent and such a bad temper that he often had to be removed from foster homes because he would beat his potential brothers and sisters into hospital-bill inducing states. The excuses were always the same.

”They aren’t my family. They aren’t my family.”

It drove his social workers crazy.

And then, when it finally got to be too much to handle, Naruto ran away from the system and ran straight into trouble, straight into Jiraiya, and straight into the Konohagumi. It took time and convincing, but the old man was quick to take a liking to the cheeky blond with his vulgar tongue and big dreams, as the majority of people are, and within weeks, Naruto had made a home with him.

But then, word got out about Naruto’s existence and preexisting heritage – word got out to the Oto and the Akatsuki as to just who his father was, something Naruto does not know to this day. Word got out about how Naruto was the spitting image of a man who had died twelve years prior, how Naruto was like a personality carbon-copy of a woman that man was rumored to have knocked up about nine months before the day of his death.

And word got out that Jiraiya and Tsunade of the Konohagumi had taken an unprecedented liking to him.

Which was the reason Naruto awoke alone in Jiraiya's house one day to find Uchiha Itachi (wanted for forty-eight counts of murder in the first, three counts of manslaughter, two counts of arson, seven counts of burglary and seven counts of drug dealing) and Hoshigaki Kisame (wanted for three counts of robbery-homicide, sixteen counts of murder, fourteen counts of manslaughter, and two-hundred-and-eighty-seven counts of assault) on his doorstep.

He got away. (Not easily, but he did.)

But then he was in for good.

And he had found his family.

He kept close the people he had grafted on as new ventricles - they were not countless, but they were far more numerous than most people can say their circle of friends are. It was amazing, Naruto's near-superhumanly natural abilities to easily befriend people, sometimes without ever really saying all that much. The connections he made were long-lasting and sincere, almost strangely so, but he expanded his reach with a gaudy sort of charisma.

And then he met Sasuke.

It really all started with a shot in the chest.

That was how it really all started.

②→catch you moving through my veins / catch you moving freight like trains

2008-03-01T04:38:46Z

What the shit is under my bed and who the fuck put it there?

『死』→

2008-02-27T18:30:29Z

-duck in strife and let in the white
of your eyes on rise; she did nothing to justify
your fears, dear, the avid ones, that hover on dark
that hover on high, that hover like fog in the back of your sky
and privatize the ones you sell, peddle on the surface
on the street corners like lies (like whores, like
screaming) and the one that would ask for you -
would ask for more - is the candlestickmaker.

Is me.

Is sore.

『死』→(filtered)