So things are either slowly getting better or quickly getting worse, and I'm optimistic enough to hope it might be the former, but paranoid enough to be sure it's the latter. It's a weird bunching sensation. I don't know. I feel like I'm hanging from a bungee cord, which is fine and all, but I'm not exactly sure how I got here, so it's kind of bothering me. When did I turn into a therapist, and why didn't I notice or demand a credential when it happened? And if I'm the patient and nobody's telling me, I'll fuck up somebody's shit. Swear to God.

Maybe I'm just waiting for everything to blow up.

Is that bad?

Abuse, allow me to show you it.

So I got home...late (can you call it that?) and realized (a little too far into the game) that my sleeping patterns are all fucked up, and so I decided I should probably stay up so that I can sleep tonight. So I took the paint we had left over, and painted myself with it, and just kind of rolled all over my living room. Then I took a shower and let it dry, and now my living room looks like I was sawing people open in it. It's possibly the funniest motherfucking thing I've ever seen in my life.

I've been checking my hair out in whatever reflective surfaces I run into today, because I kind of just dumped it on my head and then slathered what didn't hit all over my chest and stuff, so it had the most time to dry in my hair and I couldn't get all of it out. It's not really red, anymore. It's not even really...well, alright, it's kind of pink-ish? But it'll grow out by the end of the week. I'm telling you, sometimes this "hair grows at the motherfuckin' speed of light" is pretty cool shit.

Not sure what I'm going to do about the living room. Not exactly sure what I was thinking. But hell, crazy's the new stupid, and panicked is the new calm, so all in all I'm feeling pretty zen. I don't know how much that counts for.

...it should come out. It's water based.

God, I'm a fuckin' riot.

( Gaara; )

( Sakura; )

( Neji; )

If I could pin down, like, one emotion to feel instead of about twenty-million, that'd be nice too. I don't know. Weird times dattebayo. Weird times.

So, I fell asleep on the train in and I don't know why, but I was just sitting down, leaning my head on my hand and somehow my eyes closed when I wasn't paying attention and I fell asleep, and I had this dream I can't remember, and when I woke up, I had that kind of shock moment, where I realized I'd slept through my stop, and it kind of felt like I was gunna throw up my stomach for seventeen seconds, and then I got all distracted because my cheek itched, and I reached up to scratch it, and all across my hand is, like, the imprint of my hair, which is all bent and shit at this point, so that one half is curled around the right part of my face and the other half is still trying to climb off my head and into the air. And it was just weird. I felt like I was on something but I wasn't. I just kind of sat there, sorta hypnotized by the lines on my hand until the headache kicked in and I remembered that my cheek was itching, and then I just sat there and wondered what the shit I was doing on the train anyway. (I mean, I knew and everything, but I kind of just...it was that total "God, how long was I asleep" type moment.) I don't know.

Weird shit.

I just feel nervous. I don't know.

[ E D I T ; ]

Oh, and I think Neji hates me.

OH WOE MY POOR BLOND SOUL.

I'll win you back, baby.